Happy Hanukkah 2009

I would like to wish my Jewish friends/readers a very happy Hanukkah!



I found out the hard way that when using a thin sparkler candle as the center candle of a menorah you have to make sure to leave enough room between that candle and the ones next to it otherwise the middle will melt and it will collapse and start on fire... All was well though, I blew them out and the cake is fine (and very very yummy!). Maybe I should have consulted with Melisa on this one, I'm sure she would have known this, lol! I hope that everyone has a safe and wonderful holiday season, and doesn't set their baked goods on fire like me ;)

Math Major Monday

The other day I was doing some prep work for my current project and was making up the tubes I need to make dilutions for spread plating. If you click that link note that it is one of my first videos and so I was still working on the whole learning to talk coherently and do lab work at the same time, lol. Oh and I plan to bring Guess that Gizmo back I just have been busy and it was not getting the response I wanted so I kind of put it on the back burner figuring I might pick up a few more readers and revive it.

Back on track. I was doing this prep work and one of the first thing one should do while doing prep work is to figure out how much of something you need. I have become a white board addict for this kind of task, don't waste paper and it is quick and easy to correct errors. The lab has a big one but lately it has been filled up with the chicken scratches of the lab jerk (he makes my crappy handwriting look good!). For that I am not really faulting him since I am as well, I tend to be less of a hog about it. It just so happened though that I had gone shopping at Cubs, which used to be the place I bought most of my groceries but the opening of the Super Walmart has changed my life forever, one stop shopping is a beautiful thing! Since I was in the area though I decided to snoop around Cubs and found a dollar bin, I am a sucker for those, LOVE the ones at Target! They had these little white boards, pretty crappy but only a dollar, I decided to get it for the lab and imagined using it to harass people. Well between lab jerk hogging the white board and me liking to have reminders to help me not miss something on a long day I've basically only used it for legitimate reasons. This day I used it to write out the calculations for figuring how much peptone water (water with stuff in it so it is gentle on the bacteria) I needed to make. Here is the picture of it with the calculations all written out:

I promise you that 3000ml (3 liters), is the correct answer. There are 72 tubes per rack. If I have any engineers I think some of them would get it and the rest are likely convulsing on the floor. I wrote it out and afterwards decided it looked funny, makes perfect sense to me but to an outsider it probably looks like a math FAIL. Anyone want to take a stab how someone with a bachelor of science degree and a calculator managed to make 1300+1440=3000? And no, it is not an example of my having lost my sanity, though the lab jerk has been pushing it to its limit lately. I keep reminding myself that the prison probably wouldn't let me have much internet access and that Doc actually checks the police blotter to see if any of his patients did something stupid (he told me after I expressed my semi-joking wish to hit lab jerk with a rolled up newspaper). I was instructed not to get my name in the paper, being the super compliant patient that I am I did actually get my name in the paper that week, just not the blotter, lol!

My boss saw it before I did and now won't stop harassing me to get going on writing up the current experiment, get the stuff that does not involve the data and data analysis written up now, so not my style though, especially after a long day in the lab! Good thing she does not know about the bloggity! Though this is seriously very very different writing wise and I am using this to try and help me sharpen up my writing skillz a bit since it has been awhile since I took a course that required that much writing and I am incredibly intimidated by this technical/scientific writing thing. I have never really done it before, my one attempt I felt sucked really bad, so it is kinda scary, but I will figure it out and she will help by ripping it to shreds until I get it right! Hopefully it won't be too bad, we shall see. Between that, and lab work, and twitter/facebook I have not had as much time for blogging, both as a writer and a reader and am behind on both, miss you all and I will eventually catch up with reading and am trying to make sure I post once in awhile so you all don't think I died or something.

One last thing before I crash, on twitter a few of us were chatting and Flat WeaselMomma came up and McMommy decided she wants to host FWM (that would be so cool) and then she started contemplating making a Flat McMommy and sending her up to hang out with the Weasels. Then the idea snowballed and she wants to come visit me and hang out in the lab too! I totally played it cool and was all saying it could be arranged but I was totally doing the excited tween girl contemplating meeting a Jonus brother or something tweens are into these days!!!!! I'd consider Flat Microblogologist but it would cause Baby Sibling to make fun of me since I am already flat, she got almost ALL the boob allowance for our family and did not leave much for Middle Sister and I, Middle Sister is the one that actually wants it too! Anyone have any ideas for what I should do if and when Flat McMommy comes to visit? For sure she'll join me in the lab but I have to show her more than just that. Something fun to think about =)

Setting the Lab on Fire

Given the title there might be some speculation as to what happened in said lab. Did Karen literally set the lab on fire or is she talking figuratively? Well folks my prospects for the figurative sense definitely don't do it for me. While I like the Dishwasher he is way too young for me and I think of him as a friend. I have discussed my loathing of the more my age male grad student before, if you're new I despise him and wish he would go back where he came from (Wisconsin, if it weren't for Loren messing up my stereotype that Wisconsinites suck I'd go into that... way to redeem your home state Loren!), and neither are my type anyway. Oh yeah, the prof's son works in the lab too, also not a candidate for doing the figurative setting the lab on fire thing* being not my type and seriously going after one of my committee member's kids would definitely raise some eyebrows if he were!

All of that to say that I literally set the lab on fire. And by I set the lab on fire I mean I set a fire in the lab. This is actually a somewhat common occurrence given that I use a glass spreader when I spread plate and have to ethanol flame it between uses, as somewhat shown in the crappy video I made in an earlier post about spread plating. Once in awhile while flaming the spreader a drop of burning ethanol (95%) can fall off the stick and land on the lab bench. The black bench top is designed to be fire retardant (or maybe fire-proof, not sure) and so this is not a problem. The drop normally burns until it has burned off the ethanol and then goes out, no need to panic or get excited, it is actually kind of cool to watch. This however was not the case the other night.

Side view

A few nights ago I was plating the last set of samples for the day and talking to Niecey on the phone. The little imp has discovered that if she hits the redial button on the phone that it will call my cell. This works the majority of the time since my family is somewhat anti-social and I am one of the few people who is called using that phone. While a little awkward I am capable of doing most lab work with the phone balanced between my shoulder and ear so I answered and chit chatted with her for a bit. I saw the drop of flaming ethanol drop like I've seen probably 100 times and watched as it went under the test tube rack that I put the used tubes in. At this point I paused to watch it until it burnt out and then started spreading the plate.

Top view

As I was finishing spreading the first of two plates I shifted my focus from the plate to the suddenly up in flames test tube rack! Niecey got to hear what Auntie Kee says when she gets startled with something of that nature, it involved many repetitions of the cuss word Forest Gump made a slogan out of. Thankfully for me she already knows that one and so I was not teaching her a new word, more the proper application of said word. I finished spreading the plate I was on while trying to hold the phone and blow on the rack in hopes that would put out the flames that were quickly growing and burning towards the tubes the rack was holding. Blowing on it did not help, thankfully I was able to finish spreading the plate quickly and then I grabbed the rack and took it to the sink where I doused it with water. The test tubes in it seemed to actually protect the part of the rack they were in, thank goodness! I did NOT need to have that part burn and the tubes to start falling down into the flames. It definitely could have been worse, no one got hurt and it wasn't even that much of a fire. It was a freak accident that will hopefully never happen to me again, especially since I now know that a small drop of ethanol that looks like it burnt out is enough to light up a rack!

Angled Close Up

~~~~~Copy LiteralDan Section~~~~~
*While all this talk about doing a figurative setting the lab on fire thing may sound like a good plot for a porno I definitely wouldn't recommend it. Not based on experience mind you, that has so never happened, more from a I know most of what is worked on in the lab and can only imagine the rest. It would be a situation where you could walk away with a STD (aka STI and VD), diarrhea, and purple^ and green^ markings on your butt. If that floats your boat go for it, just don't let me know about it!
^PW, the male grad student, has been working with stains lately, specifically crystal violet and malachite green, he is a slob (one of the many reasons he is the object of my loathing). I have gotten dyed a few times, at first I was confused but quickly figured it out and just sigh and wish my boss would let me whack him with a newspaper like I keep asking her if I can but she keeps saying no...

Navigationally Challenged

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; strengths to help you get through life and weaknesses to keep you humble. One of my weaknesses is the fact that I am navigationally challenged. Once I have been a place enough times I am pretty good at getting around but until I am used to it I can get turned around and lost quite easily. I was discussing this with WeaselMomma on one of her recent posts, I was telling her that if I ever went to Philly (her home town) that I would probably end up calling her hopelessly lost and she'd have to figure out where I was and get me unlost, or that I would have to kidnap her and use her as a prophylactic but in this case as a guide so I didn't get lost and not in terms of antibiotics* nor birth control.** I then revealed to her that I was navigationally challenged to the point of getting lost in my hometown and she said she wanted to hear this one so I am indulging her and the rest of you with one of my slightly less finer moments, enjoy.

It was the fall of 2001, I had graduated high school, gotten my driver's license, became a deli clerk, and got my first car, a 1988 Mercury Topaz that was my grandma's but she had stopped driving and it was just sitting in her driveway collecting wasp nests, a fact that scared the shit out of my mother (Hi Mom, I saw you save my blog address so you don't have to hide if you are reading this, I was getting ready to link you anyway). I started college that August at Benedictine University, a small private university in Lisle, IL. It was an interesting transition for me, not only was I new to the whole college thing but I had my K-12 in public school (a good system) and it doesn't take much guesswork to figure out that Benedictine is a catholic school given the being named after a saint thing.

At Benedictine Christian values are something they strive to instill in their students no matter what religion they are, this was rather apparent in their humanities classes, especially the first one that all students are required to take. In that course I was given an assignment, I was to do 10 hours of community service and write a report about the experience. This assignment proved very difficult for me, not only did I now have a full time course load but I was also a deli clerk and up until that summer I had been in a coed youth program through the Boy Scouts of America called Venturing Crew. My crew dissolved before I started college. While in crew I did many hours of community service, without crew I had no outlet and had to find my own place to volunteer, and most I thought of and contacted didn't have anything or I needed to have background checks or other nonsense that prevented me from doing it. Finally I found a nursing home that was happy to have some free labor, and it happen to be in my hometown, score!

A little bit about my hometown. It is a rather small suburb of Chicago. According to the sign last time I saw it there are 24,600 people in my town, obviously this is a somewhat rough estimate but close enough. Almost no one has heard of this little town, it isn't uncommon for people from neighboring burbs to have not heard of it. I was about a year and a half old when my family moved to this town and lived there until I finished my undergraduate work and moved here for grad school. So one would assume that I know this town quite well right? Well you assumers are wrong, I know parts of this town very well, the nursing home in question was NOT in my area, which was still very small since I had only recently started driving. My mom told me she knows where this place is, it is past 63rd street she tells me. And so confident in my abilities I got in my trusty Mercury and hit the road.

I get on the street the place is on and am driving along and get to 63rd street and start looking for a nursing home, I didn't see one. I kept going a ways until I decided I must have missed it and so turn off the main road onto a side street so I can turn around legally (too much traffic to do one of the U-turn using all 4 lanes my daddy taught me and I have made my own). Unfortunately for me this stupid side street had some odd twists (I was going around the block instead of finding a driveway to use figuring it would be easier, hah!) and instead of ending back on the main road I was on I got on another road that I thought was the main road but wasn't. At this time I had this really bad instinct to keep driving, I used to always do that when lost, just keep driving in hopes I would eventually get somewhere I recognized. In my defense I had not diagnosed myself as navigationally challenged yet and used to be dumb enough to think this method might work.

I drove until the road I was on either ended or forked and kept going and going. Eventually I saw a Jewel, which is a grocery store chain, and decided enough was enough and stopped to find out where the heck I was and call for help. I walk into the Jewel and find an associate and asked them what town I was in, the answer was Countryside, which is several towns over and around 6 miles from my hometown, though I took the insanely "scenic" route. I found out the street names and got on my cell phone (which only had 75min/month so I never used it) and called Grandpa and told him where I was and asked how to get home. He gave me specific enough instructions and so I went on my merry way.

The funny/ironic part was as I got back on the street I was on and drove further I drove into LaGrange, the town I was born in, where my clinic/hospital was and oh yeah, where I went to church for quite a few years. I was not far along at all when I started recognizing the landmarks, the road I was on was the road we took to get to church, except we turned before Countryside since it was in LaGrange, once I was in LaGrange I knew exactly where I was and how to get back. So my strategy funnily enough would have worked had I stuck with it about a block or two more, which is probably why I later used it when trying to navigate elsewhere with generally bad results. Instead of going home I decided that since I had been driving for like an hour or so I should at least try to make it to the nursing home, which Grandpa told me was BEFORE 63rd street. I found it and worked for a few hours, the next day I went back for a few more and then was too busy to get the full 10 so wrote it up as was and turned it in for a not so good grade.

And that dear readers is how I got lost in my hometown. Since then I have actually improved in my abilities to turn around and am a little better at navigating. It helps that I generally refuse to go anywhere without mapquest directions. Oh and my getting a little mixed up on my way to the Weasel's house was totally the weather's fault. I went during a bit of a snow storm that consisted of somewhat sticky blowing snow that coated the street signs and reduced visibility. That said if I ever do go to Philly I will likely get myself GPS chipped and steal WeaselMomma along the way!

~~~~~Copy LiteralDan Section~~~~~
*Use of antibiotics in a patient without a bacterial infection that has a risk of contracting one is the application of the word prophylactic that I encounter and use the most.
**Referring to various birth control methods as prophylactics was the application I actually forgot about when commenting on WeaselMomma's blog, proving once again that I am a nerd and my blog title is quite appropriate in more than just the figurative sense.

Christmas 2, Microblogologist 0

First off, merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate Christmas, to those of you that do not disregard the merriment if you so choose, you can definitely be merry if you want, whatever works for you and happy Hanukkah to my Jewish reader(s) and to Doc (if you read this Doc my present to you is I gained about 2 pounds in mostly healthy ways). That said Christmas is kicking my ass. Last Christmas I spent inside my car, outside my apartment, in the freezing cold weather we in the midwest all know and love *cough despise cough* before going to work for a few hours and then having company over in the form of a police officer and three firefighters. This Christmas so far does not seem like it is going to turn out much better. What you want me to go into excruciating detail? OK, for you my dear readers I will.

Round One: Christmas 2007 v Microblogologist

Last Christmas I was supposed to go see my family only they were sick. I was dating a guy who lived at home with his parents and his dad (who is awesome) has cancer and is immunocompromised. My goal in life at the time was to get to see boyfriend and not kill his father (who I adore). I also did not like the sounds of the diseased masses that was my family at the time, seriously ew. The year before I went to their place for thanksgiving and they decided to give me more than thanks, they gave me influenza, thanks family! After that I tended to avoid going home if they had some form of pestilence but especially with the immunocompromised in my life (besides bf's dad there was also my diabetic friend and her former premie son, aka my godson Buggy).

So I decided to wait it out and go home for new years instead. I was not thrilled with this, missed everyone and had worked my butt off to get my experiment done in time so I could have gone and all but I was trying to make the best of it. I had found a duck at the store for a good price and decided to make it for my meal, might as well celebrate with a nice meal. I baked the duck and I think made mashed potatoes and beans to go with it, some of my favorites. Right when my dinner was done the carbon monoxide detector decided that to inform me that I was going to die.

I opened the kitchen window (it was probably in the 20°F range, thanks Pasha for teaching me that alt 248 = °), turned on the stove vent thing, and muted the CO detector and sat down to eat. Unfortunately the stupid detector only stays muted for a short time before telling you that you are going to die some more in its own special ear splitting way. I think death may in fact be preferable to the horrid pain the alarm inflicts on my poor ears! I kept muting it for a bit but eventually got frustrated and moved me and my meal out into my car so I could at least eat it instead of having to get up every 30 seconds to hit the alarm. I called my BFF Pasha from the car because I knew it would make his Christmas to hear I was eating Christmas dinner in Oldsie, it did, Merry Christmas you bastard! (I swear we really are friends!)

I finished eating and the damn alarm was still going off so I decided to let the apartment air out some more and go get some work done, not like I had anything better to do. I went back in to get some stuff and open more windows and then abandoned ship. I went to work and enjoyed having the lab to myself and made up a bunch of dilution blanks, which I use to see how many bacteria are in a sample. I got back home around 1am and the damn alarm was STILL GOING OFF! The neighbor was outside smoking and told me that it was ok since he could sleep through it, I was soooo glad. What really ticked me off was the fact that the neighbors knew the alarm was going off but none of them checked on me, this is not the first time alarms have gone off in the building and they have ignored them. I check when I hear one, if it were in their apartment I would knock and see if they were ok if it went off for more than a few minutes, maybe it is a cultural thing... So I decide it is time to call the after hours number listed and get the ISUPD and they dispatched a cop and called the fire dept. They did not find any CO in my apartment and pulled the battery from the alarm. My guess is that there may have been CO produced by my oven that triggered it and then it got stuck on, could have been defective just as easily, wouldn't be the first time for either scenario in this neighborhood. Definitely a Christmas FAIL.

Christmas 1, Microblogologist 0

Round 2: Christmas 2008 v Microblogologist

As my regular readers know I contracted a plague (respiratory virus not bubonic) at the end of October when a professor decided to visit my lab and share the viral love. I quarantined myself for over 3 weeks and almost didn't go visit my family for thanksgiving but Doc checked me out and told me that I had a secondary infection and was no longer contagious and to get my butt out of here and go see my family. He didn't send me off without drugs of course, he is my drug lord after all. He sent me over to the drug dealers and they hooked me up with an antibiotic (highly debated) and these cool little cough suppressant pills. He tried to put me on two antibiotics but I protested and got it down to one, having a wacky GI tract to begin with I didn't want to beat the crap out of it with antibiotics. My Bubbie (grandma) basically called me an idiot for not listening to him and taking both, the woman who pretty much tells her friends I am a genius and going to cure cancer or something (highly unlikely), Mom also thinks I should have taken both. I currently think that I should have had both but perhaps staggered them, my GIT has been acting up a bit since I had the first round so who knows how bad it could be if I had two at the same time unbalancing the system. Remember, I do approve of antibiotic usage when it is needed.

So I took my meds and went for thanksgiving and had a blast. The antibiotics seemed to help but they did not knock it out completely, I am still sick. Thankfully I became a functional not contagious sick person so I was able to get back to work and worked my butt off since the day I got back so I could be done with the current experiment before Christmas. I did in fact finish it, not counting the ones I have to redo and we were supposed to leave the 23rd for Chicago (we as in Baby Sibling aka my babysitter aka The Unmarried Housewife), but I lost track of time and we weren't ready to go at a reasonable hour and I was starting to feel my sinuses building up pressure. The plan was to leave early today but I was feeling progressively sicker and my sinuses want me dead so that didn't happen. I am hoping that tomorrow I will feel better and be able to make the trip but either way I believe this round goes to Christmas.

Christmas 1, Microblogologist 0

Final Score: Christmas 2, Microblogologist 0

Friday FAIL

As I have whined about for about two weeks now I am still sickly, sadly this is totally cramping Flat WeaselMomma's and my style. Thankfully she is a very sweet guest and has been helping to nurse me back to health, thanks FWM, your home made walmart brand condensed chicken noodle soup rocks!

Since my last Microbiology FAIL post was such a hit and I found this picture I had taken a few weeks ago up in the pathogens lab I have decided to post it as another nerdy imitation FAIL blog post (seriously check out the original, they are hilarious):

The purse is owned by a woman who hypothetically should know better than to have a purse, with candy in it, in the path lab, not only sitting right next to where the biohazardous trash is kept before making its pilgrimage to be sterilized but going in the purse to get candy to eat while in the pathogen lab! My lab bench is right by this spot and I was leaving my bench to go get something across the lab and happened to catch her in the act and tell her one should not eat in the path lab... She gave me a look that said, "Huh, when was this a rule?" and mumbled something incoherant, I mentioned it to the prof in case she gets sick so he has a heads up and can defend himself if need be. Seriously the only food that is supposed to enter the lab is for testing and once it enters it is no longer considered safe for human consumption. Oh and I totally did not see her wash her hands before trying for the snack... I was horrified by the entire thing to say the least and declare it an Epic FAIL!

Microbiology FAIL

So I have recently discovered the hilariousness that is FAIL Blog, they have some seriously funny stuff if you need a laugh go check them out. Not all of their pictures are 100% kid friendly but they were cool enough to put a link to their tamer ones that are possibly OK for the kiddies (I did not actually look so won't endorse that one). Sibling and I spent much time laughing our butts off and linking the fails that we found extremely hilarious to our friends, one of them laughed so hard he woke his roommates and we had to stop before he got thrown out the window or something!

So now that we are obsessed with this site and the concept behind it we keep looking for FAILs and I actually found one, though not sure if it is FAIL Blog worthy given the high degree of nerdiness it has ;). I wanted to know if brita water filters would take care of the calcium in my water, I have very hard water (thankfully it tastes good) and really want and need to run my humidifiers but they get caked up really fast with the calcium. I'd rather not buy 5000 gallons of distilled water and swiping it from work seems a bit shady so I am looking for a cheap and easy alternative. My friends have been going on about their brita pitchers so I decided to google them and see if they would work for my application, I landed on Amazon and was reading their review with contained this little tidbit:

Brita filters eradicate up to 98 percent of the lead found in tap water while significantly reducing other impurities and dangerous bacteria including cryptosporidium, giardia, and benzene.

You all can probably guess that I am going to talk about the alleged dangerous "bacteria" mentioned in this lovely review, you know me oh so well! Let us go through them shall we?

Cryptosporidium: Is a protozoan that can infect humans, is often transmitted through contaminated water and causes diarrhea, protozoans are not bacteria: FAIL

Giardia: Is also a protozoan that can infect humans and give them diarrhea and is also transmitted through contaminated water, again protozoans are not bacteria: FAIL

Benzene: Is a 6 carbon compound that forms a ring with three double bonds, it is a chemical and of the three is the least "related" to bacteria: Mega FAIL!

Sadly there is no mention of calcium in the review so I am not sure if it would be of any use to me or not. Not sure that I want to invest in it without knowing, though I have test stips for my fish and so testing the water before and after would tell me if it were taking out the calcium, if it doesn't I would have no use for it given that I like my tap water. Perhaps I should go visit the hardware store and see if they have a cheap and easy system that would work for me and the potential limitations I have for puting in such a system in my apartment. Either way that review cracked me up, while I do not expect normal people to know what any of those are a quick google search very quickly shows they are not bacteria, hehe. I know I google it when I come across something that I am not sure what is...