So I made it past the insanity sidewalk and went to the cafe. All the sandwiches looked gross* and so I decided to not bother with solid foods (I could totally have gotten a cookie, you should all be totally impressed with my healthy choice!) and went to look at the drinks. I found this "health" drink stuff and looked at all the weird juices and concoctions they had to offer while longingly thinking about the AE milk in the next cooler over (I am a milkoholic but need more than just dairy in my diet). I decided the "Chocolate Protein" drink looked the most useful and had the highest probability of being drinkable, plus I decided that it was probably something my dietitian would approve of since she was talking about me drinking ensure and stuff like it to replace meals I don't eat. I think Doc and I need to have a chit chat about the dietitian thing, not sure she is "what the doctor ordered". Perhaps if I go through with the follow up with her it will be more useful if I have more of an idea of what we are aiming at with my seeing her. I have very mixed and confused feelings/thoughts after my first visit with her. Some of it reminded me of the last time I "allowed" Doc to refer me, which was a disaster**.
I actually had warmed up to the idea of seeing her (shh don't tell Doc, it would ruin my reputation) and was hoping she might have had some suggestions of foods I could eat and not get as sick on but she didn't really. Most of the time was spent with my defending myself because she could only see parts of my chart and on paper without context I come off as the worst patient ever to plague a doctor and that I was a waste of his time and hers and she was a waste of mine. But then she switched a bit and wants me to follow up next month, my sucking up to try and get her to not hate me and not think I am a total waste of everyone's time worked I guess. Not sure if she is going to earn a place on Team Karen or not, I think giving her one more try is in order but if the second visit is like the first then I won't go back again. I have enough trouble with feeling like I am a hypochondriac whining to Doc as much as I do and often allow my condition to get really bad before I cave and call him, and like many people I have insecurity issues that cause me to feel that I am a waste of his time (he does NOT make me feel this way). It has taken me quite awhile to realize this and I have been trying to overcome it since it is not healthy to let things go as much as I do, but having a professional practically tell me I am a waste of time does not help.
Anyway, back on topic, I bought the chocolate soymilk drink and left the library. This time I messed up, I glanced back at the poster that amused me earlier and one of the voter registration kids caught me. I quickly told her I already registered and intend to vote but thanks and she threw back a request that I volunteer to help them out, even if for only an hour. I told her sorry but I can't, need to be back in the lab and then I walked away as quick as possible. I am so not standing outside in the freezing cold to try and con idiot children to vote, I figure that if someone is not registered at this point that they have no intention of doing so and that is their choice, besides they are either informed and hate all the candidates or not informed and I don't like the idea of them voting anyway if that is the case. After making it out of that area I took my drink back to my office and made a video for your enjoyment, I think this is the first time I have ever drank soymilk, I've tried a few soy products but not that. Note I did not go to the campus book store, I have no idea why I said that since I am boycotting them and have been boycotting them for a year (they screwed me over). I was too lazy to redo it and besides my camera was running low on battery so it may not have been able to take another video. So here you go, my first soymilk experience and a product review on it.
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*I am a picky eater in general but with my stomach issues I have become extremely picky since I have trouble digesting and can have a food "haunt" me for many hours. The food looked fresh and perfectly edible if it didn't contain nasty (by my definition) ingredients.
**What Doc says goes in the end, he lets me have input (awesome!) and he will let me get away with stuff as long as it won't hurt me so it is kinda like getting my own way and makes me feel more in control of my issues (which some days I totally need). If Doc says I am going to the GI then I am going to the GI, I try and convince him not to send me because I don't like the idea of it and I hated the last doc he sent me to (wrist doc). It is all his fault, if he wasn't so perfectly suited to my personality and the best doctor ever then I would not be quite as reluctant to see someone else. Another factor is the thought of cameras being shoved everywhere and it costing me who knows how much to run worthless tests (I have insurance but it is best for clinic visits). I find the whole thing kinda scary, especially if Doc "gives up" on me, psychologically I kind of see it as if he lets me get away with my crap that means I am not as sick.