Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Tipsy Tuesday

Ever since I got my dad the Mr. Beer brew kit he has been hooked on brewing his own beer. I remember him attempting to make his own when I was a kid but it did not last too long between it not being very successful and my mother very much was against this hobby (it does create an odor that may not appeal to all). When I was an undergrad I took a microbiology course that included a lab component, in this lab we made a batch of beer and in doing so I became aware of what Daddy had been doing wrong. When you bottle beer while home brewing you need to add a bit of sugar, aka priming sugar, the yeast metabolize this sugar and convert it mainly into carbon dioxide, which creates the fizz that is associated with beer.

Daddy had been trying to add the priming sugar to the bottles individually and it was messy, difficult and often did not produce the right amount of carbonation. Too little carbonation and you have a flat beer, not very appealing I imagine. If you have too much carbonation you will have to get a ladder and lick the beer off the ceiling if you want any, which WeaselMomma probably would have done if this happened to her Coors Light the day after Lent. In micro we added the priming sugar to the bucket and then bottled it, worked every time. The Mr. Beer kit's instructions agreed with my lab protocol and Daddy adopted it and low and behold it works! And so without that challenge he has had time to experiment with other aspects of making fermented beverage. Like when I managed to get him a sample of super yeast, he is still playing with it since the first batch.

One of his recent challenges is making hard lemonade, one of Baby Sibling's alcoholic beverages of choice. They have very different versions of how this came about, Sibling says Daddy just offered to make it because he was interested in the challenge, this account is Daddy's version:


The continuing adventures of the BrewMeister……

Following my great success with Bill's Kickass Ale, I have continued to develop my excellent, high quality low cost Brew. I found a hops source which charges less than $2.00 per ounce for high quality leaf hops in pound quantity, which drops the price of 5 gallons by up to $5.00. The first batch was a bit weak but drinkable; Richard loved it and with his revitalized taste buds that is saying something. The latest batch is the best of all. I used the new Hops (Glacier alpha of 5.9) and boiled it for an hour.

But alas my euphoria of creating the perfect brew was short lived; my bubble was burst. My ego deflated. My youngest daughter asked a very degrading question: Can I make Hard lemonade? The BrewMeister was degraded! Humiliated! Why would the BrewMeister want to make disgusting swill like lemonade? Nonetheless, if a true BrewMeister can make peanut butter out of shit (sorry Texas) hard lemonade cannot be that difficult.

A Google search for hard lemonade gave several ghastly recipes involving killing the yeasties and artificial carbonization. Peasants!! A true BrewMeister does not kill yeasties and artificially carbonate. They deserve to drink supermarket swill! My first batch will be bottled in a few days and my bet is that between Richard and my daughter it won’t last long.

Now, about that Peanut butter challenge…


Microblogologist again, I have no idea what this weird peanut butter reference is, perhaps NukeDad can enlighten me as he is from Texas. There is a chance Daddy was testing his experiments when he wrote his post, I wouldn't be surprised one way or the other with him, lol. According to the Sibling this nasty concoction was delish, as I have in the past I question her taste... Of course the fact that I am not a fan of lemonade and any form of lemon with the one exception of lemon bars might make me a bit biased about something lemon flavored (do NOT get me started on one of the most vile drugs in the world, carbonated lemon flavored magnesium citrate, and what I believe should happen to the idiot who came up with this absolutely wretched drink!). I hope you all enjoyed this post, feel free to leave some ego inflating comments for Daddy, mayhap we'll convince him to start his own blog, though that might not be a good idea since I won't get these lovely guest posts from him then! Quit laughing Uncle Richard, you might not get enough oxygen to your brain if you keep it up!

9 comments:

WeaselMomma said...

This was greatly informative. I want to sample the hard Lemonade for a review! Can Daddy make a light (or lighter than gin) beer for the chickies?

seashore subjects said...

What a great gift you chose. Sounds like he loves it!

The Microblogologist said...

WeaselMomma: You will have to wrestle some away from Cheryl! I believe Daddy actually has been toying with a lighter version of his beer since watching your review, not sure if he has perfected it yet. Perhaps a playdate for the kiddies and a product testing for the adults is in order sometime...

Seashore: I knew it would appeal to him, and that he would make fun of the size of the silly little kit (it makes about 2 gallon batches I think) and I was definitely right. I never realized how far he would take it, he went and found all of his old equipment and now makes 5 gallon batches at a time. He uses the Mr. Beer tank to make his experimental batches. He definitely enjoys it on many levels! I enjoy how nerdy he is about it, lol.

Mike Marshall said...

Ah the old magnesium citrate..............I opted for the "cherry" flavor. It tasted like what it created......er....Peace, Mike.

The Microblogologist said...

Mike: Haha, I can't imagine cherry being worse than the lemon. The only thing I can imagine being worse than the lemon was the lime, which was out-of-stock. They only carry lemon and sometimes lime at my pharmacy, ick! I don't plan to consent to any test that would require me to ingest that nastiness again. Thankfully the test I had showed no problems so I shouldn't need anymore for that area =).

NukeDad said...

Sorry, can't help you with the "Shit" reference. Maybe he just hates Texas. Or Texas peanuts. Or butter from Texas. Or any combination of the two.

The Microblogologist said...

NukeDad: No, I think he is fine with Texas and their products (especially steak), guess I'll have to ask him! It could be some archaic slang that we are too young to get. It happens somewhat frequently that I picked up some old cliche from him and use it not knowing that no one else under the age of 60 knows what it means.

Scientific Chick said...

My brother tried brewing his own beer back in the day... He ended up making fancy labels for it and called it "toxic waste". I'll let you imagine how that tasted...

The Microblogologist said...

Sci Chick: That does NOT sound good at all! I don't like beer and my meds and GI issues give me the out of not tasting it, sometimes being sickly has its benefits ;) Daddy's is allegedly drinkable, lol.