Happy Hanukkah 2009

I would like to wish my Jewish friends/readers a very happy Hanukkah!



I found out the hard way that when using a thin sparkler candle as the center candle of a menorah you have to make sure to leave enough room between that candle and the ones next to it otherwise the middle will melt and it will collapse and start on fire... All was well though, I blew them out and the cake is fine (and very very yummy!). Maybe I should have consulted with Melisa on this one, I'm sure she would have known this, lol! I hope that everyone has a safe and wonderful holiday season, and doesn't set their baked goods on fire like me ;)

Thanks Daddy...

Tonight I was harassing talking to my baby sister on the phone when my dear father person started laughing hysterically. Worried that he might have drank too much of his home brew, or was getting sudden onset senility or something we inquired what he found so funny. Turns out he somehow discovered what he has dubbed my theme song on youtube. It is a blast from the past, he thinks it came out when he was in high school or maybe jr. high, so back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. And what had my father cackling and risking brain damage due to laughing too hard to breathe? Well my dearest readers it was a song about people who are altitude-challenged like me and he learned how to send links on skype just so he could share it with me, behold my alleged theme song:

Now the question is would he have dared link me that song if he was aware of how kick ass I've become due to my water aerobics classes? I mean would YOU mess with this:





I think not! Watch out Daddy, I know where you live and sleep!

I'm a huge McFan of McMommy!

McMommy, who is fabulous and if you do not read her blog you are totally missing out, had a fun idea to have her McFan's post fan pics similar to the one she made for Oprah when she joined the twitterverse. This has given me the motivation to go through with an idea I have had for awhile now and show you, my dear reader(s), how a blog addict such as myself views the world, which can be very different from how "normal" people view the same world.

It all started when I decided I was hungry and didn't want to go home and cook or perhaps had no time to do so because I had lab work after water aerobics and decided to hit the local Wendy's before heading back to my hermit cave rock I live under according to BFF Pasha apartment or lab. I did this somewhat frequently until one night I was totally thrown off, they had to close the road in front of the Wendy's and I REALLY wanted my kid meal and chocolate frosty with cookie dough added (I love that they will spike my frosty with the dough stuff for I think a quarter!). I was trying to figure out how I could get to the Wendy's as I passed it and observed the layout of the barricades. And then, just when I thought all hope was lost I looked ahead and saw the golden arches of a McDonalds. I had no idea it was there because I don't get out much this is on the opposite side of town from where I normally am. I got my happy meal, complete with toy for Niecey and decided that I like the McD's kid meal better than Wendy's except for the lack of the awesome frosty goodness (I hate that McD's "chocolate" shakes are really vanilla shakes with some chocolate flavor added, gross!) and so have switched over.

Another reason I enjoy going to the McDonalds is that it reminds me of two of my favorite bloggers, McMommy and HappyHourSue (her blog title is Happy Meals and Happy Hour, which you would know if you aren't her husband and read her awesome blog!). And so dearest reader(s), I present to you what I see in my mind when I am going on a happy meal run:

Welcome to McMommy's, can we take your order please?

Here is the menu for the food:

A happy meal option that is extra happy!

Here is the McCafe menu:

McMommytini anyone?

And here is what comes with the most popular meal by far at McMommy's, The Happy Hour Sue Happy Meal:

The yummy crusty browned part of the turkey stuffing.

A Mojuito

Chocolate

And your very own Bathtub Gangta Mini!

So there you have it, a blog addict's view of the world. And Melisa, I remember you bringing up this question in a post at some point and this should be proof positive for you that you are not the only one that is often reminded about their bloggy friends/idols, though my being the one that is proof that it happens might not be the most reassuring as far as if it is sane or not ;).

Workin' on my Fitness Melisa Style

As some of you are aware I have recently added Melisa to my list of people I stalk blogs I read. She is so cool, though her sons may not always think so they are teens and so don't count (unless they are agreeing with me) ;). One of the things I learned about Melisa is that she is a group fitness instructor, I enjoyed reading posts from the instructor's point of view. Many of you are aware that I do water aerobics, that is a group fitness class, after I graduate I will most likely be moving back to the Chicagoland area and have been contemplating how I can keep doing water aerobics there. Of course this led to the logical conclusion that Melisa is going to have to start teaching water aerobics and WeaselMomma should totally become my water aerobics buddy, how fun would that be?! I tweeted this to her and she admitted that she actually has taught water aerobics in the past but she found it boring, guess most of the people that went were little old ladies who weren't the cool ornery kind. And so with this post I am continuing my campaign to convince Melisa that my idea is brilliant and she needs to go with it (and on days she isn't our instructor she should totally join WM and I, once again I predict much fun!).

Dear Melisa,

I already showed you the post with the video of how awesome Flat WeaselMomma and I are at water aerobics and from that and meeting her one can predict that the real WeaselMomma would be even more awesome. Well I decided that I should suck up "up the ante" as OhCaptain might say and show you why you should definitely become my water aerobics instructor because I am so your kind of instructee! Back in May of 2008 you posted about how you wore one of your fabulous tiaras while teaching your spin class and it was a mega workout and challenged your readers to try it as well. Being as I did not have time to hit the "mall" before leaving for my next workout and figuring that it would probably not stay on my head given the movements we do and it could possibly rip up the swim cap so I busted out my silver and gold sharpies and the tiara swim cap was born!

Not too shabby I think, drawing a tiara on the swim cap while wearing it was not the easiest of tasks (because it stretches I figured this was really the only way to do it). I made sure to take pictures in case metallic sharpies are water soluble, wouldn't want to spend all that time and effort and not get a pictures of it! Here is another shot of me before I got in the pool, showing off my awesome water aerobics outfit and if you squint you can see them massive muscles I've gotten over time (thanks to the lifeguard for snapping this shot for me).


And to answer your question if wearing a tiara made for a more butt kicking workout:


YES IT DID! Look I'm too exhausted to even give a real/full smile and totally look like a drowned rat fabulous. And so there you have it Melisa, I am the perfect candidate for your water aerobics class (that currently doesn't exist)! We would all have so much fun, even if the rest of the class were little old ladies and WeaselMomma and I were the only young people in the pool while you taught (unless you decided to teach from the pool like some of my instructors have done or do) and the three of us were the young people if and when we had a different instructor. People would be so jealous of us given how much fun we would have while looking fantastic. And so you should definitely start teaching water aerobics again, in a heated shallow pool (cold locks up my knee and I am short and HATE deep water aerobics and freeze real easy).

Your Future Devoted Class Member,
Karen

Time to Celebrate Ian!

Hello everyone, remember me, the dorky quirky microbiology grad student who goes by "The Microblogologist", "Micro", "MB", and occasionally my first name, Karen. Yeah it has been over a week since I posted, working a lot trying to knock the current project out ASAP and trying to catch up on my blog reading has not left much time for this. Oh and twitter totally does NOT help, evil addictive thing that it is! So why am I posting now? It's Ian's birthday!!!!! Put on your party hats and get ready to sing! I do NOT sing and when I write songs I make Ian sing them for me (he has finished 1 of 4 that I have written, I'm cutting him some slack because he is a first year undergrad and is in plays and operas and such, 2 or 3 at a time the past month or so) and so of course I made him sing the happy birthday song for me, feel free to join in:

OK time for the cake! I thought about having it be a dual purpose cake to also serve to celebrate Randy's journey to S. Korea but it is definitely not a "Randy cake" as it does not contain full frontal nudity, in case you want to see it and keeping in mind I am 100% NOT kidding about the nudity (my keyword list is likely to get interesting after this!) I'll link to his official farewell cake. I have never tried linking a facebook pic so if it doesn't work it doesn't work, I am NOT going to put it on my blog or into photobucket or whatever, go bug him (actually you should, he'll get sad if Gregg and I are his only readers!) Here is the cake that I got for Ian:


We've had our cake, it was pretty yummy too! The smiley face is definitely appropriate because Ian is totally a big ball of sunshine =)! Now it is time for the presents, here is what I picked out and if I were totally wealthy I would so get them for him:

Manpris for when it is too hot for pants but too cold for shorts!

Uggs, because he loves them and says they are comfy,
these match the manpris so he can show them off!

A nice polo shirt to go with the manpris and boots.

And what outfit is complete without a matching man purse!?
Coach of course!

Oh and here is another rendition of the birthday song for you Ian, I found it in the related vids for the first and HAD to post it!:



I hope you had a wonderful day, I am sorry that you had to spend it 400 miles away from your family and Pasha! My advice, celebrate it again when you go home next, it is not about the date it is about spending time with those you love. Love you kiddo!

The Dishwasher

A professor once told my class that if you have a question you should ask it and not feel stupid because most likely if it is not clear to you there will be more people who don't get it too but are too scared to ask and will be grateful you had the courage to. I took this lesson to heart and have found that when I have asked profs to clarify something there are a lot of murmurer and pens/pencils moving! So I have decided to apply this lesson to my blog, Nonna asked about the Dishwasher, who starred in my documentary about the pink goo. She wanted to know if he minded being called "The Dishwasher" and why I call him that (note: I call him by his real name most of the time).

To answer the first part of that question watch the documentary, notice that when I called him "The Dishwasher" he didn't miss a beat, the poor guy has been working in the same lab with me for way too long and so that totally didn't phase him nor upset him. The skip in the vid was my deciding to explain to him why I called him that (I totally forgot in my excitement to get the interview recorded to inform him of my privacy policy and what I named him for the blog) and asking if he minded or if he'd prefer another nickname or his real name. He laughed and said he liked "The Dishwasher" and so that he shall remain.

And as to the why, besides me being insane there are actually two reasons I call him "The Dishwasher". The first is because of the lab jerk (aka Prof Wannabe). The lab jerk is one of those go get 'em types in many regards, which can be good. His is a first class butt kisser when it comes to the higher powers (professors or people he can exploit), but us lowly fellow lab workers do not deserve his precious time that he doesn't have enough of. Idiot is a grad student in I have no idea how many clubs and wonder if he knows, and wonders why he has no time! I am in one club, which I might quit since he recently joined and seems to be taking it over, besides I don't have enough time for it really since I have to focus on my research, writing and prelims (currently 100% focus is on research). When he first started as a grad student it was after he had done a summer internship in the lab, during the summer he managed to piss everyone off including me, and I was only in for a few days before my wrist forced me to take the summer off.

Everyone but I was an undergrad in the lab and when I came back he was trying to be friends with me in hopes of having one person in the lab not loathing him. The arrogant SOB was telling me how he felt the lab dynamics should be, basically the undergrads should be our slaves and do all of our prep work and wash our dishes and basically do our job while we just do the thinking part. I tried to nicely explain that our lab did not work like that, the undergrads in our lab had experience and were among the top of their class and hand picked by the lab's prof to do actual research. These were not minimum wage freshmen, they were slightly above minimum wage upper classmen! They were hired for specific projects and undergrads here can only put in 20 hours a week working for the university while classes are in session as per university policy, that is not much time and really they did not have time to do their work and ours! His response was to say we should hire a slave then, I told him that was highly unlikely and that the prep and cleanup was our job and most grad students have to do that stuff too, least the ones I have worked with in all the labs I have worked in. His views have not changed, his attempts at trying to get me to change mine failed and we are currently mortal enemies. What has changed is the lab dynamic, the undergrads graduated and one got a real job while another decided that grad student life was for her (poor misguided soul!), suddenly we were a lab of grad students and there was but one undergrad, the lowly Dishwasher. Being the pain in the butt hilarious coworker that I am I would tease him about how he is the undergrad and I am the grad and so he should do all my work for me and wash my dishes and everything! He and I would go back and forth exaggerating the lab jerk's insane ideas a bit as a form of playing around and stress relief, working with someone like the lab jerk is highly stressful which is great for blogging since it triggers GI issues that make it hard to sleep so might as well write a blog post and feel guilty my brain is too mushy to do lit review to make my boss happy.

The other reason behind my naming him "The Dishwasher" is because as an undergrad he takes a ton of coursework, which requires a lot of time and does not leave as much time for him to do lab work. One thing that tends to suffer when one is busy and trying to get their job done is dishes. You HAVE to do prep work or you can't do the research, of course doing the research is the whole point, and in the end the only thing one can really slack on is doing the dishes afterwards. Sometimes this causes conflict, it is very annoying when you come in and all the dishes are dirty and my pet peeve is when all the sinks are full of them, the lab has 3 sinks with two basins each there is no excuse to fill them all! Also sometimes one of us who is feeling benevolent or who has given up on the person ever doing them, will just wash the dishes for that person, this makes Dishwasher feel very guilty. His way of trying to avoid conflict and guilt was to write a note on the board saying to leave the dishes for him to do. Being the smart ass comical coworker that I am I would usually either write under it that my test tubes are waiting for him on my bench or I'd tell him it in person if I saw him. Sometimes I would refer to him as the lab's dishwasher and such, yep I'm a hoot to work with!

And that my adoring public is why I call him "The Dishwasher", the combination of inside jokes and slight insult aimed at the lab jerk (who I'm naming my ulcer after if I have an ulcer, find out in a few months probably). The Dishwasher is a great person to work with, he is laid back and puts up with my silliness. I would never let him wash my dishes as that is my job, the only one I let do so is V and that is because we share when we are both working and rotate who cleans the dishes and does the prep work, easier than splitting everything up. And I told him I was going to make him famous so look forward to hearing of him in the future, when I get around to it, lol.

A Microblogologist Production

A few days ago I noticed a container in the hallway outside my lab. Being the snoop concerned citizen that I am I of course had to investigate. It was unlabeled and contained what appeared to be seeded pink hand soap. Yesterday I looked at it again and decided to make a documentary about it, enjoy:



Unfortunately the goo was gone by the time I got back to do my last set of plating so there was no explosion and no more trying to capture the pulsating/bubbling of the goo, it was fun while it lasted! The goo is actually a part of a competition thing that the food science major nerds do every year, it is a big deal to their kind and so the Dishwasher and I can't tell you what their ultra secret pink goo is at this point. If I am aware of it after the contest is over I can try and find out more about it and let you know if anyone wants. It has another endorsement from a coworker who has tried it, in its non-fermented form, no one seemed interested in trying the fermented form for some reason! If I get a memo about a taste panel for it I think I'll give it a try and maybe get a vid of it, if I have time.

Note: I am being exceedingly kind calling him the "lab jerk". He is a vile and loathsome creature (can be nice, chooses not to).

Special thanks to the Dishwasher for participating in the documentary!

Math Major Monday

The other day I was doing some prep work for my current project and was making up the tubes I need to make dilutions for spread plating. If you click that link note that it is one of my first videos and so I was still working on the whole learning to talk coherently and do lab work at the same time, lol. Oh and I plan to bring Guess that Gizmo back I just have been busy and it was not getting the response I wanted so I kind of put it on the back burner figuring I might pick up a few more readers and revive it.

Back on track. I was doing this prep work and one of the first thing one should do while doing prep work is to figure out how much of something you need. I have become a white board addict for this kind of task, don't waste paper and it is quick and easy to correct errors. The lab has a big one but lately it has been filled up with the chicken scratches of the lab jerk (he makes my crappy handwriting look good!). For that I am not really faulting him since I am as well, I tend to be less of a hog about it. It just so happened though that I had gone shopping at Cubs, which used to be the place I bought most of my groceries but the opening of the Super Walmart has changed my life forever, one stop shopping is a beautiful thing! Since I was in the area though I decided to snoop around Cubs and found a dollar bin, I am a sucker for those, LOVE the ones at Target! They had these little white boards, pretty crappy but only a dollar, I decided to get it for the lab and imagined using it to harass people. Well between lab jerk hogging the white board and me liking to have reminders to help me not miss something on a long day I've basically only used it for legitimate reasons. This day I used it to write out the calculations for figuring how much peptone water (water with stuff in it so it is gentle on the bacteria) I needed to make. Here is the picture of it with the calculations all written out:

I promise you that 3000ml (3 liters), is the correct answer. There are 72 tubes per rack. If I have any engineers I think some of them would get it and the rest are likely convulsing on the floor. I wrote it out and afterwards decided it looked funny, makes perfect sense to me but to an outsider it probably looks like a math FAIL. Anyone want to take a stab how someone with a bachelor of science degree and a calculator managed to make 1300+1440=3000? And no, it is not an example of my having lost my sanity, though the lab jerk has been pushing it to its limit lately. I keep reminding myself that the prison probably wouldn't let me have much internet access and that Doc actually checks the police blotter to see if any of his patients did something stupid (he told me after I expressed my semi-joking wish to hit lab jerk with a rolled up newspaper). I was instructed not to get my name in the paper, being the super compliant patient that I am I did actually get my name in the paper that week, just not the blotter, lol!

My boss saw it before I did and now won't stop harassing me to get going on writing up the current experiment, get the stuff that does not involve the data and data analysis written up now, so not my style though, especially after a long day in the lab! Good thing she does not know about the bloggity! Though this is seriously very very different writing wise and I am using this to try and help me sharpen up my writing skillz a bit since it has been awhile since I took a course that required that much writing and I am incredibly intimidated by this technical/scientific writing thing. I have never really done it before, my one attempt I felt sucked really bad, so it is kinda scary, but I will figure it out and she will help by ripping it to shreds until I get it right! Hopefully it won't be too bad, we shall see. Between that, and lab work, and twitter/facebook I have not had as much time for blogging, both as a writer and a reader and am behind on both, miss you all and I will eventually catch up with reading and am trying to make sure I post once in awhile so you all don't think I died or something.

One last thing before I crash, on twitter a few of us were chatting and Flat WeaselMomma came up and McMommy decided she wants to host FWM (that would be so cool) and then she started contemplating making a Flat McMommy and sending her up to hang out with the Weasels. Then the idea snowballed and she wants to come visit me and hang out in the lab too! I totally played it cool and was all saying it could be arranged but I was totally doing the excited tween girl contemplating meeting a Jonus brother or something tweens are into these days!!!!! I'd consider Flat Microblogologist but it would cause Baby Sibling to make fun of me since I am already flat, she got almost ALL the boob allowance for our family and did not leave much for Middle Sister and I, Middle Sister is the one that actually wants it too! Anyone have any ideas for what I should do if and when Flat McMommy comes to visit? For sure she'll join me in the lab but I have to show her more than just that. Something fun to think about =)

Snonna

While catching up on her blog (or is it this one...) I once again came across Nonna's obsession with the vile white crap that falls from the sky like manna but evil and not from heaven. Never mind the death and destruction it leaves in its wake, Nonna wants to play in it! I believe her and Niecey would get along quite well as the child loves snow (she will probably grow out of it living in the midwest). I decided Niecey was old enough to play outside by herself as long as she stayed in view of the window so I could supervise her from the warmth of my aunt's place over thanksgiving. She got her fix and stopped whining and I got to be the coolest auntie ever and stay warm, perfect!

And so, for Nonna, I put aside my hatred and "played" in the snow just for her:

Note my awesome not falling skillz! And in case anyone notices, no I am not wearing gloves, I do not get adequate circulation to my fingers to be able to really wear them. I am better off keeping my hands in my pockets with the exception of when I am cleaning/shoveling the snow I have a pair of gloves that have a mitten shell that work to a point and are better than leaving my hands completely exposed to the elements. I hope you all enjoyed my romp in the snow and those of you blessed with a warm climate free of the retched stuff appreciate how awesome you have it, if not I propose a switch, I live at your place and you can hang out in the frozen wasteland! I will admit that it can be pretty, here is an example:


I snapped this shot as I power-walked across campus to get to water aerobics, I was late and so went straight from work as the sun was setting. I couldn't help but stop to capture the bell thingy with the snow and sunset thing going on. It has a fancy name that I forget how to spell and it is a huge campus landmark, it makes noise every 15 minutes and a prof plays music on it at noon and I think sometimes later in the day as well, it is cool.

Facebook Facts Meme

Uncle Richard decided to tag me for a meme thing on facebook. Since I am a blogger I decided to do it here and not there, I only use facebook to harass people.

25 Random Things About Me:

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note containing 25 random facts about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. Until I left for grad school and with the exception of two work injuries at the deli I always went to the same clinic/hospital that I was born in.

2. Doc has spoiled me by being competent and putting up with my silliness so I'll probably die if I go back. Seriously they are messing up my middle sister, her doc never heard of fricking MS (she may or may not have MS, we don't know because he is too stupid to test her).

3. I love my plants. They have their own room in my apartment, they share it with my computer/home office.

4. When I was an infant I shared my nursery with Daddy's computer until we moved into our house not long before middle sis was born.

5. The number 5 is my favorite number, I am all into multiples of 5, LiteralDan shares this obsession.

6. I collect GIANTmicrobes, I'm such a nerd!

7. If they made my research organism I would be so happy!

8. I am seriously considering using GIANTmicrobes to decorate any future offspring's nursery, if I have girls then syphilis and kissing disease, a boy perhaps cold and the clap...

9. I would rather have girls than boys if I procreate, which means I will definitely end up with boys with only the weird family thing to protect me from that fate. My Dad has three girls and has a granddaughter, his sister (who really wanted a girl) has three boys and a grandson.

10. I have a friend who only wants boys, I told her we should plan ahead so we can trade!

11. While Richard was top speller in the 3rd grade I peaked in 2nd by winning my class's bee, I blew the first word in the big bee (thru not through, lol).

12. I wanted to write a microbiology version of the 12 days of Christmas but got too busy and sick to actually do it, maybe I'll get it written for this Christmas!

13. Researching the Dreidel Song for my newest song made me fall in love with it and I think given how Christmas seems to be trying to kill me I might want to consider celebrating Hanuka instead, of course that holiday would have 8 days instead of just 2 to get the job done should it decide to kill me too...

14. I hope Ian records my new song soon...

15. Like Richard I can't dance, we are just too pigmentally challenged my dearest adopted uncle! It was hilarious when Niecey was learning to dance, you could tell who she was copying in the beginning, the slightest bob thing was my signature dance, with my bad knee and her poor coordination at the time it was the best move for both of us. Her style has evolved a lot since then but I think you can see some of her early influences, you be the judge (the tongue out arms outstretched is a new move she invented, the zombie!):

16. When I had my appendix out I "raced" the other appendectomy kid and totally smoked him, of course I was a few years older and had the laproscopic and I think his burst and they had to cut him all the way open. Either way I gave him a head start and I dragged my own IV and held my own guts in, he had two nurses!

17. I rode a mechanical bull when I was 16 (give or take), it messed up my wrist and I suspect is part of why I messed it up so bad here. The only good part I can think of is that I was in a volunteering group and we went to the mayor of my hometown's wake and I made his widow laugh when I answered her question as to what I did to my wrist (it was splinted) with my standard, "I got into a fight with a mechanical bull, it won." It is one of the prouder moments of my life, it felt good to be able to give that poor woman something to laugh about in such a horrible time.

18. I wish I knew where my appendectomy video went, I'm afraid my mother recorded over it, it was pretty cool and I brought it to school to show my biology class.

19. I am going to ask for a vid of my stomach scope, if I think it is cool enough you will all get to see it too.

20. This is my least favorite kind of meme, I suck at thinking of stuff off the top of my head, I need inspiration to work my quirky magic!

21. I am giddy over the impeachment/impeachment trial of my former governor, my office mate told me I was enjoying reading the paper too much the other day since I kept cracking up while reading about it. Seriously how can you not when you read about how he is trying to cast himself as the victim and boycotting his own trial. He is a lovely dramatized version of Chicago politics, never trust a Chicago politician, the corruption jokes aren't actually jokes, the politicians are!

22. The thought of Blago making Oprah the replacement senator amused me greatly, I think I would have considered watching whatever channel broadcasts the senate stuff just to see if she treated it like her show, hehehe. Hell I'd consider voting for her just to see that, especially if the republican candidate sucked (probably would, it is IL and they all do in both parties)!

23. Adam Sandler has a special place in my heart, my mother really needs to start paying attention to if he is in movies she takes us to see. My prude and somewhat religious mother. Did any of you see Little Nicky? She made me see it because she somehow got free tickets and didn't want to waste them by not going even though I had a paper due the next day... Only reason she didn't walk out is because of the huge fit she threw to make us go, she was extremely offended by that movie and I enjoyed it greatly knowing that! His Zohan movie offended her too just not as much, hehehe.

24. I think I harass my doctor too much but probably don't see him as much as I should. I have trouble figuring out if whatever is bad enough to warrant a visit and since I am sickest at night and usually feel a lot better in the morning I usually put off calling for weeks. If he talked to me at 2am many nights in the past he'd have been able to convince me to have just about any test/referral he wanted. Figuring out this stuff was always Mom's job, I am so not into this grown up crap!

25. I always procrastinate going to bed, even when I am exhausted and it doesn't make much sense because I love being in bed!

Tags: Cheryl and Nonna, because you both bitched that I didn't tag you before when I made a point of not tagging anyone, congrats you've been tagged! Anyone who is bored and wants to use this has my blessing.

Victory is Mine (and Doc's)!

As I was taking my post-water aerobics shower after having made the appointment to see Doc inspiration hit and culminated into the shirt that is pictured above, which made my nurse laugh quite hard and became a running joke throughout the appointment, which featured Doc's current new shadow that I enjoyed bragging about my exploits to (Doc often has a med student, resident or whatever following him). The shower is one of my favorite parts of the water aerobics routine, unlimited hot water that I do not directly pay for, life here doesn't get much better for this cold-blooded person. I usually relax and ponder stuff while in my utopia of warmth, for some pondering something difficult is stressful, for me not pondering is stressful. I have to mentally beat a difficult subject to death in order to be able to accept whatever reality is being thrown at me that I do not approve of. Humor is my other coping mechanism and is usually a part of the pondering process, as I dissect the issue I try to find aspects that amuse me. This doctors appointment was no different, for my dear readers and was the mental subject for every shower between scheduling the appointment and said appointment. This visit was the one I knew I would have to admit defeat, stubborn people such as myself are NOT good at accepting this.

For approximately a year, the actual time escapes all of our memories, I have been fighting Doc. See I fried my stomach on NSAIDs* trying to get my wrist functional and when the stomach became my dominant issue and PT and a steroid injection got the wrist functional again (thanks to Doc not the guy he referred me to). At some point after when the stomach became the focus he started bringing up sending me to a GI doc if I didn't get better, even had one picked out. I had the shot in November 2007, right before Thanksgiving break so I could go visit the family and recover before attempting going back to work. I think that it was sometime in January 2008 that the GI referral was first introduced. Doc knew by then that I am reluctant to agree with him on treatment options I do not want, even if they are what I need but won't admit to needing. First time I went to him for my wrist I left with no splint/brace, a week later I caved and am wearing the brace he had picked out for me the first week, he paraded 2500 of them out and I rejected all of them, based on my reactions to them he picked out only two to show me the second time. His, "you'll be back..." look gets a lot of use with me as his patient!

Back in September I was getting ready to cave on the referral, but then he/we discovered some lower GI issues added to the upper and there was a med I could try to fix it and so I wiggled out of the referral and became even more against it. Lower GI issues lead to horrible things like what NukeDad went through, I was NOT going there! After the last visit I knew I had used my last "Get out of referral free" card and that next time I whined it would be straight to the GI doc for me, thankfully I got to pass go and got 240 dicyclomine and 60 prilosec! I went in with the brilliant idea of trying to convince Doc that he could just send me for tests or perform them himself but he shot that down since only GI docs do some of the tests and he isn't allowed to shove cameras into my stomach even if he had one at his disposal and I promised not to tell nor sue. There was absolutely no wiggling out of it this time, Doc put his foot down and as I have said before to many people who questioned either his or my competancy/sanity (I make sure that it is known that it is I who refused the referral, it is not for lack of trying on his part), when he puts his foot down and tells me I am going that I will listen.

Not only did he put his foot down but he also conspired with my nurse, she did the paperwork while he examined me and listened to my crazy scheme. He also answered some of my questions, like the one that I'd been wanting to ask him for weeks. See I take 10 pills a day for my GI issues and heard of a drug in patch form that could potentially help me gain weight and the only restriction didn't apply to me, you are not to wear it on scrotal skin. Doc shook his head and laughed and told me that androderm (topical testosterone patch) is not a treatment option for me and he wouldn't put me on it. I wonder if the med student is thinking he should have gone to grad school instead... He also was nice enough to be my Jewish consult and told me that the dreidel song is just a fun song and no one should care if I change the lyrics, especially since I am not being a biggot in my song (well except idiots who don't label their containers containing chemicals and pathogens, I'm pretty prejudiced against people like that), so as soon as I sweet talk Ian into it and he has a moment or two I shall have my Label Song =)! I am quite proud of it and am planning to try and make a music video with it, we'll see what happens as far as that goes. Either way I had planned to have it recorded and put on a CD to have blasted and looped when the lab idiot (in the words of Adam Sandler, "Not a Jew") is working >=).

Note: I am sleep deprived not stoned in this picture that
makes me look like I have a more robust chest so I had to post it...

So after the required belly taps and my bragging about being a half a pound over our agreed upon lowest maintenance weight oh and he caught me eating a midday snack since I had to run over from work and didn't have a chance to eat while busting my butt to get done and across campus (he acted like it was a miracle, as if I don't eat ever, brat!) he was getting ready to go play with his next patient when my nurse comes in and hands me a piece of paper. On it is my GI appointment, not sure if it were Doc's idea or if she decided to help out poor Doc in case I somehow miraculously dodged again. And so I am going, in March (guess he is in high demand and gets behind a lot, oh my that was a sad sad pun!), and Doc is friends with him and promised to tell him to be nice to me.

OK so you all are likely scratching your heads at the title, because it is obvious that Doc won as I am going to his GI doc (I will not refer to him as my GI doc until he proves himself at least 25% the doctor my Doc is, don't think that will be easy, pray for the poor guy). The reason Doc won was because he told me he is referring me for the upper GI issues and not the lower. I had come to terms with the idea of having the stomach scope, and even was thinking about how I could use it for blog fodder, it is the lower GI tests I am completely against and in the four months I've had to contemplate I have not come to terms with the idea. Seeing it on youtube was probably the most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed besides maybe my niecey's birth (ew ew ew). He told me that the GI doc might try to convince me if he feels I need it but otherwise he wants my stomach checked and my esophagus dilated. And so there you have it, I've taken the referral which is a big victory for Doc and it is on my terms so a victory for me as well. Might not have gone too well had Doc not backed down on the lower GI stuff, I am quite fanatical about my exit only policy but all in all a successful visit for both of us.

Notes to Team Karen:
To Doc: If you have decided to check this like you joked about doing today that is my opinion on the appointment. I doubt much of any of it is news to you though since you were there and are way too good at reading me. Now you can take the noncompliance note off my chart in case I am forced to see someone else who will somewhat wrongly judge me based on that... I enjoyed seeing you and everyone again and really appreciate all you do for me and all you put up with to keep me relatively healthy and happy. Thank you Doc. Oh and you have to watch the video Niecey made you! And I understand you are too busy to read blogs, pretty sure I told you that when I linked you, I don't expect you to read about my silliness, just wanted to give you the option if you wanted to or were bored between athletes.

To my nurse: You are great too!

To my drug dealer: Hi favorite pharmacy tech, thank you for enabling me!



~~~~~Copy LiteralDan Section~~~~~
*NSAIDs are NonSteroidal AntiInflammatory Drugs, most over the counter pain meds are NSAIDs, tylenol is the one that isn't.

My New Pet

Warning, you may need one of these if you read this post (at least I have been cracking myself up all day over it):

It is a pretty well established fact that people crave companionship, we are an at least somewhat social species. So what is a workaholic hermit graduate student living in the frozen tundra to do? Obviously the more traditional pets are out, especially since my apartment is not pet friendly and I'd have to move to one that is (think the only ones that are pet friendly are the ones that have the stupid layout and no carpet and no dryer hookup and no basement, ick), and I think the fee is $350. That and I don't like the idea of a pet that sheds, licks, jumps, makes noise, and could excrete waste on my floors. I also do not like the idea of scooping poop out of the yard or a bin. I have fish, tired of dealing with them though, way too much work for a busy/lazy person with bad joints and a knack for flooding the place when trying to clean the stupid tanks.

I have plants and adore them, but most (BFF Pasha) do not consider them pets and I will likely devote a post to them in the future so they'll get a mention but not be listed as pets. I do have the occasional transient "roommate", they are a great source of amusement for me, but usually do not stay too long. This one is a permanent resident, though I brought her in from outdoors in the state she is currently in (I think it is a she based on the abdomen) to show my mom when she came to visit me (in the much anticipated trip that never was due to her foot needing surgery), she is a small one of her kind and this year they had a population bloom and were everywhere (so fricking cool!). Had Mom visited I think she would be in California by now after seeing one of these babies:


So anyway, while reading WeaselMomma's most recent post she introduced a new idea for a pet that is perfect for the average busy college student. And here it is:

Is it?
Oh yes it is!
Cough syrup!
What a little cutie, so happy and content and low maintenance, and don't listen to the directions on the box, she lasts way more than 8 hours with no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome (in this application, not the other use, the other use definitely has a TSS risk but if you are dumb enough to take the before mentioned statement as directions for THAT then it is natural selection and I thank you for taking yourself out of the gene pool and will nominate you for this year's Darwin Award if I hear about it)!

And she gets along with my other low maintenance pet that Middle Sister gave me years ago as a joke and can't believe I still have it. They are so BFFs!

Nice and cozy, it is good to mimic your exotic pet's natural environment to make them feel more comfortable in their new home.

Awww, they are playing leap frog, how adorable!

And there you have it, thank you WeaselMomma for the wonderful suggestion! The only problem is I don't know what to name her, maybe my readers can think of some suggestions in the comments... Oh and if you plan to adopt one of these lovely pets you might want to make sure you get unscented, my goodness does she stink up the place, her only flaw! Hopefully it will wear off soon if she becomes this blog's version of the Bathtub Gangsta, because knowing my luck you will all fall in love with her*.





~~~~~Copy LiteralDan Section~~~~~
*By fall in love with her I mean fall in love with the idea of me carrying her around in public, I know at least some of you people!

~By the way doesn't my new camera take awesome pictures, I LOVE it!!!!! Only good thing about breaking the one I bought in May 2008!

~~If you read this Doc you don't have to send me to Dr. Seat Stealer (J told me he is a head shrinker so I'll so know what you're up to if you ask if you can "consult" with him), I have so not lost it, this is totally normal blogger behavior! Seriously go read about the Bathtub Gangsta (it is hilarious), this may be slightly more warped than that but I totally had to do it after reading WeaselMomma's blog. I am so not helping my case am I...

Identity Crisis

So I was shoveling my parking place the other day, in subzero temps since I read that it was going to snow again and be even colder and the wind chill was going to be in the -30-40°F range. I figured I'd best get it done while the risk of frostbite and hypothermia was a little lower. During this activity I came across something strange, can any of you tell me what it is:


Also look what happens when one breathes in subzero temps, especially one wearing something over the bottom of their face which causes their breath to channel upwards:


That's right, there are ice drops on my eyebrows and eyelashes, that was the best picture I got out of it. I think it was about -5°F at the time, it got down to -28°F at one point, horrid (it was worse up north in Minnesota, ick!). We really need to build a border fence between Canada and the US, keep their cold air out! We really need to increase our emissions people, I want me some global warming! Polar bears can kiss my frost bitten butt. I am not going to think about believing in their little global warming hypothesis until they can with 99.9% accuracy predict the weather on day 10 of the 10 day forecast, in detail. A model system that can't even predict much beyond 2-3 days is NOT enough to convince me. I believe in conservation and recycling and alternative fuel and such, don't get me wrong, I just don't like the idea of some crackpot hypothesis/theory being used to try and force it on people. Sometimes scientists need to take a step back and think about what they are saying and what the limitations are on their research and how valid their conclusions are before sharing it with the general public.

Stay warm all you cold climate readers, and for you warm climate ones does any of you want to adopt an adult microbiology grad student?!

Mother Meme

OK I find this amusing, in all my months of blogging no one has ever tagged me for a meme. This does not upset me so don't be all, "OMG Microblogologist is such an unpopular whiner!" And I don't need to get flooded with meme tags, remember I will enact swift and total revenge on anyone who over-tags me by over-tagging them back with my access to multitudes of inane myspace bulletins! That aside my mother sent me an e-mail meme (what are they called in e-mail language, on myspace they are usually called surveys...). Breaking my normal rule of not posting someone's name without their permission here is my mom's meme with her answers (she doesn't have a blog I can link... yet, my commentary in parenthesis):

1. Six names you go by:

1. Susan
2. Sue
3. Susanita
4. Suzy
5. Mom
6. Grah
(interesting, I guess "Mom" and "Grah" aren't the cool names, not good enough for #1&2 eh Mommy?)

2. Three things you are wearing right now:

1. black denim pants
2. black sweatshirt
3. camouflage t-shirt
(I thought you swore off black after Grandpa said it made you look like a bowling ball, yes my grandpa can be a jackass dear readers, I wrote him a bitchy e-mail after hearing that one! Oh and Mom does not resemble a bowling ball dressed in any color, I'd post pics to prove it but she knows where I live and I'd like to be able to see my family again...)

3. Three things you want very badly right now:

1. for more hours at work

2. for it to be warmer
3. for my foot to be totally normal
(Thank all that is holy that sex is not on this list! I would've been so traumatized! My mother is a virgin damnit, Daddy said the storks came and dropped us off and I believe him! That said #1 is just pathetic, totally get 2 and 3.)

4. Three people who will fill this out:

1. Mel
2. Karen
3. Richard
(I am 2 not 1, sad, and rather presumptive aren't we...)

5. Two things you did last night:

1. read with [Niecey] for 90 minutes

2. watched American Idol
(I don't refer to the kiddo by name on the blog Mom, nor our hometown, don't want to end up on the news the bad way.)

6. Two things you ate today:

1. lasagna made by a co-worker

2. Alphabet cereal in skim milk

(Skim milk is gross, you should drink real milk, oh and a study showed a little milk fat is good for you.)

7. People you last talked to on the phone:

1. AT&T about my cell phone
2. Richard
(The red button turns it on AND off)

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:

1. work
2. see Twilight with Cheryl at the Tivoli
(Hahaha, Cheryl had no idea you had plans! Funny that you are going to watch the movie of the only vampire romance book you have not read.)

9. Your favorite beverages:

1. cold water

2. decaf tea (iced or hot)

(Can't think of anything snarky to say here, I must be losing it!)

And now to answer these burning questions myself:

1. Six names you go by:

1. Karen
2. Auntie Kee
3. Microblogologist
4. Microbiologist (this one amuses me)
5. Micro
6. Real Karen (there will be a post on this)

2. Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Jeans, leggings, and fuzzy pants.
2. Two shirts, a fuzzy shirt and a hoodie.
3. Boots, regular socks and fuzzy socks.

3. Three things you want very badly right now:

1. To stop refluxing/having GI issues.

2. For it to be 80°F during the day and 65°F at night all the time.
3. Niecey cuddles.

4. Three people who will fill this out:
Whomever wants to may play along, I am not officially tagging anyone.

5. Two things you did last night:

1. Wrote a blog post.

2. Listened to the Dreidel song (seriously the Jews' song is way better than most of the Christmas songs and it makes me giggle to see it listed as a "Christmas song"!)

6. Two things you ate today:

1. French toast

2. Chicken noodle soup
*cough and chocolate cough*

7. People you last talked to on the phone:

1. Niecey, she has discovered that hitting the redial button on the phone calls me, which will work until someone in my anti-social family calls someone other than me on that phone, this could get interesting.
2. Auntie D

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:

1. Spend a few hours in the lab inoculating and pouring plates and such.
2. Water Aerobics (it's back!!!!!!!!!!)

9. Your favorite beverages:

1. AE 2% Chocolate Milk

2. 2% Milk

Welcome to my blog Mom, while this is the official my linking you I totally know that you accidentally linked yourself and so may or may not have "snooped", I don't care if you have (I could have stopped you had I wanted to). I planned to link you eventually *cough after editing some posts cough*, I was introducing you to the concept with my vague blog references. Oh and don't freak out about stuff I write, if something is serious I'll probably let you know, or tell Cheryl because she is on skype so ask her, though she has the attention span of a gnat so probably will forget... You may comment if you like, I prefer you click name/url, you can write your name (Mom or Grah/Graw/Gra, not Susan like you keep signing your e-mails... I'm still your daughter...) and leave the URL blank. Oh and this so counts as communicating so my being a neglectful e-mailer is negated now by this (plus it is not like I have much to say in response to you talking about work, you so need to get a life or a more interesting job!). Love you! (I bee-lieve my not posting your Halloween costume is my mother's day present to you this year, the horrible pun would bee your bonus gift, though this parenthetical will likely get the attention of my regulars and have them taunt you into saying I can post it, I am so evil!)

And a little extra for all of you:
Public Service Announcement from Niecey: Fiber makes you poop like you never pooped before! (thanks Auntie Cheryl for teaching Niecey about fiber and Niecey for making me laugh my butt off when she called me to let me know this while I was working and to tell me to put it on my blog.)

Navigationally Challenged

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; strengths to help you get through life and weaknesses to keep you humble. One of my weaknesses is the fact that I am navigationally challenged. Once I have been a place enough times I am pretty good at getting around but until I am used to it I can get turned around and lost quite easily. I was discussing this with WeaselMomma on one of her recent posts, I was telling her that if I ever went to Philly (her home town) that I would probably end up calling her hopelessly lost and she'd have to figure out where I was and get me unlost, or that I would have to kidnap her and use her as a prophylactic but in this case as a guide so I didn't get lost and not in terms of antibiotics* nor birth control.** I then revealed to her that I was navigationally challenged to the point of getting lost in my hometown and she said she wanted to hear this one so I am indulging her and the rest of you with one of my slightly less finer moments, enjoy.

It was the fall of 2001, I had graduated high school, gotten my driver's license, became a deli clerk, and got my first car, a 1988 Mercury Topaz that was my grandma's but she had stopped driving and it was just sitting in her driveway collecting wasp nests, a fact that scared the shit out of my mother (Hi Mom, I saw you save my blog address so you don't have to hide if you are reading this, I was getting ready to link you anyway). I started college that August at Benedictine University, a small private university in Lisle, IL. It was an interesting transition for me, not only was I new to the whole college thing but I had my K-12 in public school (a good system) and it doesn't take much guesswork to figure out that Benedictine is a catholic school given the being named after a saint thing.

At Benedictine Christian values are something they strive to instill in their students no matter what religion they are, this was rather apparent in their humanities classes, especially the first one that all students are required to take. In that course I was given an assignment, I was to do 10 hours of community service and write a report about the experience. This assignment proved very difficult for me, not only did I now have a full time course load but I was also a deli clerk and up until that summer I had been in a coed youth program through the Boy Scouts of America called Venturing Crew. My crew dissolved before I started college. While in crew I did many hours of community service, without crew I had no outlet and had to find my own place to volunteer, and most I thought of and contacted didn't have anything or I needed to have background checks or other nonsense that prevented me from doing it. Finally I found a nursing home that was happy to have some free labor, and it happen to be in my hometown, score!

A little bit about my hometown. It is a rather small suburb of Chicago. According to the sign last time I saw it there are 24,600 people in my town, obviously this is a somewhat rough estimate but close enough. Almost no one has heard of this little town, it isn't uncommon for people from neighboring burbs to have not heard of it. I was about a year and a half old when my family moved to this town and lived there until I finished my undergraduate work and moved here for grad school. So one would assume that I know this town quite well right? Well you assumers are wrong, I know parts of this town very well, the nursing home in question was NOT in my area, which was still very small since I had only recently started driving. My mom told me she knows where this place is, it is past 63rd street she tells me. And so confident in my abilities I got in my trusty Mercury and hit the road.

I get on the street the place is on and am driving along and get to 63rd street and start looking for a nursing home, I didn't see one. I kept going a ways until I decided I must have missed it and so turn off the main road onto a side street so I can turn around legally (too much traffic to do one of the U-turn using all 4 lanes my daddy taught me and I have made my own). Unfortunately for me this stupid side street had some odd twists (I was going around the block instead of finding a driveway to use figuring it would be easier, hah!) and instead of ending back on the main road I was on I got on another road that I thought was the main road but wasn't. At this time I had this really bad instinct to keep driving, I used to always do that when lost, just keep driving in hopes I would eventually get somewhere I recognized. In my defense I had not diagnosed myself as navigationally challenged yet and used to be dumb enough to think this method might work.

I drove until the road I was on either ended or forked and kept going and going. Eventually I saw a Jewel, which is a grocery store chain, and decided enough was enough and stopped to find out where the heck I was and call for help. I walk into the Jewel and find an associate and asked them what town I was in, the answer was Countryside, which is several towns over and around 6 miles from my hometown, though I took the insanely "scenic" route. I found out the street names and got on my cell phone (which only had 75min/month so I never used it) and called Grandpa and told him where I was and asked how to get home. He gave me specific enough instructions and so I went on my merry way.

The funny/ironic part was as I got back on the street I was on and drove further I drove into LaGrange, the town I was born in, where my clinic/hospital was and oh yeah, where I went to church for quite a few years. I was not far along at all when I started recognizing the landmarks, the road I was on was the road we took to get to church, except we turned before Countryside since it was in LaGrange, once I was in LaGrange I knew exactly where I was and how to get back. So my strategy funnily enough would have worked had I stuck with it about a block or two more, which is probably why I later used it when trying to navigate elsewhere with generally bad results. Instead of going home I decided that since I had been driving for like an hour or so I should at least try to make it to the nursing home, which Grandpa told me was BEFORE 63rd street. I found it and worked for a few hours, the next day I went back for a few more and then was too busy to get the full 10 so wrote it up as was and turned it in for a not so good grade.

And that dear readers is how I got lost in my hometown. Since then I have actually improved in my abilities to turn around and am a little better at navigating. It helps that I generally refuse to go anywhere without mapquest directions. Oh and my getting a little mixed up on my way to the Weasel's house was totally the weather's fault. I went during a bit of a snow storm that consisted of somewhat sticky blowing snow that coated the street signs and reduced visibility. That said if I ever do go to Philly I will likely get myself GPS chipped and steal WeaselMomma along the way!

~~~~~Copy LiteralDan Section~~~~~
*Use of antibiotics in a patient without a bacterial infection that has a risk of contracting one is the application of the word prophylactic that I encounter and use the most.
**Referring to various birth control methods as prophylactics was the application I actually forgot about when commenting on WeaselMomma's blog, proving once again that I am a nerd and my blog title is quite appropriate in more than just the figurative sense.