Monday, January 26, 2009

Victory is Mine (and Doc's)!

As I was taking my post-water aerobics shower after having made the appointment to see Doc inspiration hit and culminated into the shirt that is pictured above, which made my nurse laugh quite hard and became a running joke throughout the appointment, which featured Doc's current new shadow that I enjoyed bragging about my exploits to (Doc often has a med student, resident or whatever following him). The shower is one of my favorite parts of the water aerobics routine, unlimited hot water that I do not directly pay for, life here doesn't get much better for this cold-blooded person. I usually relax and ponder stuff while in my utopia of warmth, for some pondering something difficult is stressful, for me not pondering is stressful. I have to mentally beat a difficult subject to death in order to be able to accept whatever reality is being thrown at me that I do not approve of. Humor is my other coping mechanism and is usually a part of the pondering process, as I dissect the issue I try to find aspects that amuse me. This doctors appointment was no different, for my dear readers and was the mental subject for every shower between scheduling the appointment and said appointment. This visit was the one I knew I would have to admit defeat, stubborn people such as myself are NOT good at accepting this.

For approximately a year, the actual time escapes all of our memories, I have been fighting Doc. See I fried my stomach on NSAIDs* trying to get my wrist functional and when the stomach became my dominant issue and PT and a steroid injection got the wrist functional again (thanks to Doc not the guy he referred me to). At some point after when the stomach became the focus he started bringing up sending me to a GI doc if I didn't get better, even had one picked out. I had the shot in November 2007, right before Thanksgiving break so I could go visit the family and recover before attempting going back to work. I think that it was sometime in January 2008 that the GI referral was first introduced. Doc knew by then that I am reluctant to agree with him on treatment options I do not want, even if they are what I need but won't admit to needing. First time I went to him for my wrist I left with no splint/brace, a week later I caved and am wearing the brace he had picked out for me the first week, he paraded 2500 of them out and I rejected all of them, based on my reactions to them he picked out only two to show me the second time. His, "you'll be back..." look gets a lot of use with me as his patient!

Back in September I was getting ready to cave on the referral, but then he/we discovered some lower GI issues added to the upper and there was a med I could try to fix it and so I wiggled out of the referral and became even more against it. Lower GI issues lead to horrible things like what NukeDad went through, I was NOT going there! After the last visit I knew I had used my last "Get out of referral free" card and that next time I whined it would be straight to the GI doc for me, thankfully I got to pass go and got 240 dicyclomine and 60 prilosec! I went in with the brilliant idea of trying to convince Doc that he could just send me for tests or perform them himself but he shot that down since only GI docs do some of the tests and he isn't allowed to shove cameras into my stomach even if he had one at his disposal and I promised not to tell nor sue. There was absolutely no wiggling out of it this time, Doc put his foot down and as I have said before to many people who questioned either his or my competancy/sanity (I make sure that it is known that it is I who refused the referral, it is not for lack of trying on his part), when he puts his foot down and tells me I am going that I will listen.

Not only did he put his foot down but he also conspired with my nurse, she did the paperwork while he examined me and listened to my crazy scheme. He also answered some of my questions, like the one that I'd been wanting to ask him for weeks. See I take 10 pills a day for my GI issues and heard of a drug in patch form that could potentially help me gain weight and the only restriction didn't apply to me, you are not to wear it on scrotal skin. Doc shook his head and laughed and told me that androderm (topical testosterone patch) is not a treatment option for me and he wouldn't put me on it. I wonder if the med student is thinking he should have gone to grad school instead... He also was nice enough to be my Jewish consult and told me that the dreidel song is just a fun song and no one should care if I change the lyrics, especially since I am not being a biggot in my song (well except idiots who don't label their containers containing chemicals and pathogens, I'm pretty prejudiced against people like that), so as soon as I sweet talk Ian into it and he has a moment or two I shall have my Label Song =)! I am quite proud of it and am planning to try and make a music video with it, we'll see what happens as far as that goes. Either way I had planned to have it recorded and put on a CD to have blasted and looped when the lab idiot (in the words of Adam Sandler, "Not a Jew") is working >=).

Note: I am sleep deprived not stoned in this picture that
makes me look like I have a more robust chest so I had to post it...

So after the required belly taps and my bragging about being a half a pound over our agreed upon lowest maintenance weight oh and he caught me eating a midday snack since I had to run over from work and didn't have a chance to eat while busting my butt to get done and across campus (he acted like it was a miracle, as if I don't eat ever, brat!) he was getting ready to go play with his next patient when my nurse comes in and hands me a piece of paper. On it is my GI appointment, not sure if it were Doc's idea or if she decided to help out poor Doc in case I somehow miraculously dodged again. And so I am going, in March (guess he is in high demand and gets behind a lot, oh my that was a sad sad pun!), and Doc is friends with him and promised to tell him to be nice to me.

OK so you all are likely scratching your heads at the title, because it is obvious that Doc won as I am going to his GI doc (I will not refer to him as my GI doc until he proves himself at least 25% the doctor my Doc is, don't think that will be easy, pray for the poor guy). The reason Doc won was because he told me he is referring me for the upper GI issues and not the lower. I had come to terms with the idea of having the stomach scope, and even was thinking about how I could use it for blog fodder, it is the lower GI tests I am completely against and in the four months I've had to contemplate I have not come to terms with the idea. Seeing it on youtube was probably the most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed besides maybe my niecey's birth (ew ew ew). He told me that the GI doc might try to convince me if he feels I need it but otherwise he wants my stomach checked and my esophagus dilated. And so there you have it, I've taken the referral which is a big victory for Doc and it is on my terms so a victory for me as well. Might not have gone too well had Doc not backed down on the lower GI stuff, I am quite fanatical about my exit only policy but all in all a successful visit for both of us.

Notes to Team Karen:
To Doc: If you have decided to check this like you joked about doing today that is my opinion on the appointment. I doubt much of any of it is news to you though since you were there and are way too good at reading me. Now you can take the noncompliance note off my chart in case I am forced to see someone else who will somewhat wrongly judge me based on that... I enjoyed seeing you and everyone again and really appreciate all you do for me and all you put up with to keep me relatively healthy and happy. Thank you Doc. Oh and you have to watch the video Niecey made you! And I understand you are too busy to read blogs, pretty sure I told you that when I linked you, I don't expect you to read about my silliness, just wanted to give you the option if you wanted to or were bored between athletes.

To my nurse: You are great too!

To my drug dealer: Hi favorite pharmacy tech, thank you for enabling me!

~~~~~Copy LiteralDan Section~~~~~
*NSAIDs are NonSteroidal AntiInflammatory Drugs, most over the counter pain meds are NSAIDs, tylenol is the one that isn't.


nonna said...

ok, so i'm just guessing but upper gi issues sound like ulcer type things or whatever. from MY experience, the worst part of the lower gi shit (pun intended) is that nasty salt water, GALLON JUG, no matter what i tried, couldn't choke down, so had to starve for FOUR days. the peep up the bum was nothin (course i don't think they made "the big sharp turn??" that is supposed to suck really bad. i did get a cool pic of my pipes afterward that i hung on the fridge for awhile but nobody seemed interested in how clean, polyp, and poop free they were :)

but the upper gi shit they make you stand there and watch you and demand you drink it. yuck. at least it's just a little bottle and make sure you get the CHOCOLATE flavored nasty stuff and make them CHILL it first. much easier to drink that way.

the cool part is that if your techie person is cool they will let you see screen so you can wathc the shit (no pun there) going down your throat as you're swallowing. if i remember right you get to go for a ride on the table too.

good luck and umm have fun? take pics/videos and we will commiserat/laugh at/with you.

am i winnin yet???

Weaselmomma said...

If Doc ever reads your blog, no doubt you will get a psych referral. I agree about the I would rather die of colon cancer than break my 'exit only' rule.

The Microblogologist said...

Nonna: As far as I know I do not have any ulcers at this time, there was a point where I was pretty sure I did, but that was when I took celebrex (so much for that being easier on the stomach). My upper GI issues are GERD, gastritis and delayed gastric emptying, the lower might actually be due to the medication I am on. I think it is hilarious you put a picture of your colon on the fridge! I am not sure what all Doc's GI doc will do as far as tests, only one I know I am getting at this point is the stomach scope, there may or may not be more but him and I will have to debate/discuss it, I do not want to subject myself and pay at least part for any test that will tell me what I know and nothing else. Yeah, this could be interesting... It is hard to say about the drink thing, sometimes cold drinks mess with my throat. I will probably blog the experience, or what of it I remember given they are going to hop me up on stuff so I don't gag on the camera and such. If your question about winning is about the "battle" for 4th between TN and NC you are down by one, lol.

WeaselMomma: How do you think I knew he wasn't reading it before he told me he doesn't, lol! I hope he doesn't feel guilty for not having time and takes my assurance that I don't mind and understand why he doesn't. Between work and home and being MY doc the poor guy is lucky if he gets a chance to pee probably! I hope neither of us gets colon cancer, at least we'd have the comfort that we died unviolated!